catmask:

catmask:

the thing is this dashboard change isnt the end of the world ill get used to it whatever im just fucking dying of embarrassment that its supposed to look like twitter

twitter gets run over by a bus and the next day tumblr comes 2 school wearing her clothes like. oh my god come on

(via phoenixyfriend)

thestaticradiosystem:

coochiekrab:

Self proclaimed animal luvr i hate humans internet warrior logic

ID: A two panel comic.

First panel: a person with a dog says “I’m surrendering my dog because I can’t find dog friendly housing.” A person replies “How could you?!?!? I would go homeless with my dog before I abandon family.”

Second panel: A person sitting on the floor with their dog next to a small sign which says “anything helps”. They say “I went homeless with my dog”. The other person is on the phone and says “Hello Moron County Animal Control? This man is abusing his dog. It doesn’t deserve to live on the streets, how cruel. Someone needs to take this poor dog away from you.” [End desc]

(via romanceyourdemons)

laughingcatwrites:

unpretty:

jcrewguy:

ALT

ALT

In a statement to The Post, a spokesperson for NBCUniversal claimed the tree work is simply an annual ritual at this time of year. “We understand that the safety tree trimming of the Ficus trees we did on Barham Blvd. has created unintended challenges for demonstrators, that was not our intention. In partnership with licensed arborists, we have pruned these trees annually at this time of year to ensure that the canopies are light ahead of the high wind season,” they wrote. “We support the WGA and SAG’s right to demonstrate and are working to provide some shade coverage. We continue to openly communicate with the labor leaders on-site to work together during this time.”

ALT

If those trees were pollarded annually, the cut areas would NOT look like that. There would be big knobs of old growth at the trimming sites. Not seeing any of that here. The way those trees were topped (not pollarded, which is a very careful process that has to begin when the tree is immature) is excellent way to kill them due to loss of hydration, open sites to infection and parasitism during the best time of year for both, lack of nutrition due to so little greenery and new budding growth being left, sunburn and other exposure damage, and a myriad of other possibilities. Plus, if they were topped annually, they would not have the lovely drooping branches seen in the other picture but would have tons of vertical suckers instead.

This is what an annually pollarded mature tree should look like:

If this was done by the city, the public works arborists should be protesting in front of city hall and screaming their heads off right now. I’m not hearing about that, so… Tree law!

(via romanceyourdemons)

cafffine:

be pro-aging but wear sun screen. sun protection is not beauty industry propaganda it will save you. wear it. or else.

(via romanceyourdemons)

etakeh:

In case you think the writers on strike aren’t making good use of their time, think no more!

ALT

ALT

ALT

ALT

ALT

ALT

Only click the read more if you’re fully prepared. I’m taking no responsibility past this point.

Keep reading

(via phoenixyfriend)

sauntering-vaguely-downwards:

sauntering-vaguely-downwards:

lmao Adam Conover found out marvel was gonna be filming near by so he took a bunch of folks down and picketed in front of the location so the teamsters wouldn’t be able to get in and stopped the filming

ALT

(via weaver-z)

oneheadtoanother:

(via eighthundredlies)

feytouched:

i like to pretend i’m an intellectual but in my heart the 3oh!3 taio cruz ke$ha katy perry avril lavigne lmfao nicki minaj cobra starship rihanna cascada britney spears lady gaga era of music reigns supreme. ipod touch with the cracked screen type beat

(via eighthundredlies)

homunculus-argument:

I’m obsessed with court jesters in fantasy stories so have another story concept about it:

A new person is introduced to the king’s court, and as soon as they walk in the court jester announces that they are a thief and a fraud and rode in here with stolen horses. And just as the newcome member is about to retaliate, they’re advised not to, and explained that nothing the jester says is true, ever. He just says completely baseless and wild shit, recreationally. The newcomer looks at the jester, who is currently bemoaning that the king won’t kiss him in public, as if they are lovers. The king looks irate, but leads by example and ignores the jester’s idiotic claims.

The more one learns about the court’s inner workings, the more apparent it is that the jester really does do that. The false claims and absurd rumours that go around aren’t regurgitated by the jester as often as they are apparently started by him, and are proven false on a consistent basis. The only way to make yourself a worse clown than the jester himself is to get defensive about it, or make any attempt to disprove him. Once a drunken high priest embarrasses himself completely by stripping down in front of the court to prove that he does not, in fact, consist of two smaller men standing on each others’ shoulders, concealed by the priestly garb.

“And the king is fucking the jester” has become a standard sarcastic retort that people say to imply that someone is a naive fool who believes in wild and false baseless rumours. Along the lines of “You think the old marchioness’ handmaid is actually secretly her personal assassin? Do you also believe that the king is fucking the jester?”

But if one could wiggle their way all the way through to the deepest bottom layers of court scheming without getting killed along the way, it turns out that there are a handful of these claims that actually are true, but nobody would ever believe them - or believe you if you told them about it - because the truth is disguised as such open-faced blatant lies that you’d look like a fool trying to actually prove them. And all of these most outrageous things are schemes that re-inforce the power of the throne or directly benefit the king. And the system is so sturdy that the jester could flat-out say that out loud and nobody would believe it because it’s the jester saying it.

Because the truth is, the king is fucking the jester.

(via neornithes)

cipheramnesia:

jaoxn:

hollowboobtheory:

hollowboobtheory:

gonna start saying “you couldn’t make x movie today” but for reasons unrelated to political correctness

you couldn’t make Home Alone 2: Lost in New York today because the strict airport regulations put into place after 9/11 make it nigh impossible for a child to simply walk onto the wrong plane

You couldn’t make American psycho today because Christian Bale would actually kill Jared Leto for real

I don’t see that as a deal breaker.

(via thesilvergoddex)

fans4wga:

What it means when an indie film gets a SAG-AFTRA waiver:

ALT

[id: tweet from Alex O'Keefe @/AlexOKeefe1994 that says “People keep saying SAG-AFTRA is handing out "waivers” for indie productions to keep filming. These are NOT WAIVERS they are INTERIM AGREEMENTS. That means the employers have agreed to all the demands actors are making of AMPTP. If indies can afford it, why cant billionaires?“ end id.]

(via notebookqueenofnarnia)

uberguber89:

vbartilucci:

batfamscreaming:

sandsbuisle:

zombolouge:

runicbinary:

dankmemeuniversity:

I love this, though, because my favorite thing about Superman is he isn’t Batman. I love Batman too, but Superman isn’t a dude who decided to live his life in pursuit of a vendetta against society when he was eight and then just did nothing for the next two decades but get super jacked, become the world’s greatest detective, and memorize every strategy used by every winner in every field of competition in history. Superman is a very good-hearted person who knows how to bale hay, use AP Stylebook, and break meteors into manageable bite-sized pieces by hitting them real hard. And I’m not saying Superman isn’t smart. He’s a bright guy, he’s just not like, one of the celebrated geniuses of the DC Universe. The best thing about Superman is he is basically a normal dude who happens to be orders of magnitude stronger than anyone else. Normal dudes have brain farts. Normal dudes are presented with a life-or-death situation they have less than four seconds to resolve and make a decision that is not optimal. Normal dudes aren’t typically asked to rescue a child from a 10,000 ton machine bearing down on him at 85mph, but if they were, they would probably sometimes panic a little and do dumb shit like ruin a train when they could have just whisked the child to safety.

I think sometimes Superman makes the wrong decision, not necessarily to the result of extreme catastrophe, but something like this, where everyone is standing around clapping and cheering and the kid’s parents are weeping in gratitude and they want to pose for a picture for the 6 o’ clock news with Superman and the conductor, and in the crowd someone is like “Why didn’t he fly the kid out of the way?” and rather than rolling with the fact that the emperor is naked his friend just says “Shut up, Drew, it’s Superman.”

And then, because I also love Batman for very different reasons, I imagine that later on the same day Bruce Wayne gets a phone call and Clark Kent is like “Hey, Wayne, I uh, need a favor.”

“Do you now.”

“Yeah, I, uh, kind of owe the Union Pacific Railroad $60,000.”

“Oh, and why’s that?”

“Come on, don’t do this to me. It was all over the news.”

“I’m prepared to write you a no-strings-attached check for the full amount on the condition that you explain your entire thought process from beginning to end.”

Anyway, that’s why I like Superman.

I think this is very accurate. One time a tree fell on me in the forest and while it would have made more sense to simply jump to the side and avoid it my idiot brain went through the fight-or-flight options and apparently chose fight, so I reached out my hand and caught the tree, then dropped it on the ground beside me. Ended up fracturing my wrist and wondering why the fuck my brain thought that was the best option for survival. I don’t think people are good at really weighing the optimal choices in moments of crisis. 

Bruce: “New Justice League policy. I am willing to pay for whatever damages you guys do in the name of justice and saving lives, but you have to write up a report detailing how the damage occured, including your thought process. Every once in a while, I will complie them into a presentation that we will go through as a whole to determine how you could have mitigated the collateral damage.”

Clark: “This is going to be a ‘name and shame’ type of thing, isn’t it?”

Bruce, lying through his teeth: “Of course not, don’t be ridiculous. This is to improve ourselves.”

The ones who admit “I don’t know what happened here” get a pass on shaming but they still get the alternative suggestions list

And on nights when he really needs a break, Bruce pulls those presentations out, watches the video, and laughs his tits off.

Forget the edgy “batman contingency: here’s how I’d kill all my friends” that’s all over YouTube Shorts, THIS is the series I want to see!

(via weaver-z)

tooies:

this website’s moderation sucks ass and it has a terrible bot problem and there are an enormous amount of bugs but thankfully we have a staff team hard at work not addressing any of these but instead making shitty ui changes that nobody wants

(via cappucino-commie)

theblackknightofworcestershire:

thestuffedalligator:

Rewatching Truman Show for the first time in a long time, and the detail that’s stuck with me this time is the set design.

The characters drive modern cars and hock modern products, but it’s all presented with a veneer of 1950s wholesome applecheeked Americana. Truman’s life is presented as an escape for the audience from the drudgery of the modern day, and the aesthetic they’ve chosen for this is the post-war economic boom. This is the simple time, the movie says. This is the good time. Doesn’t the modern day suck? Let’s go back and see our friends from the days when life was good.

And it’s a lie. Truman’s life is a lie, and the image of white picket fenced suburbia they’ve presented is a lie. It’s an elaborate construction to recreate a false memory that’s comfortable for advertisers. The movie is a satire, but it’s also a very blatant statement against the nostalgia for a golden age which never existed. It’s a lie. It doesn’t exist.

I don’t know. I’m spitballing. I’m biased because I despise mid-20th century Americana and I naturally treat it with hostility, but it’s very gratifying to see a movie kind of agree with me.

Let me tell you a story.

Earlier in the summer, I went to Florida with my friend. We decided to visit a town nearish to where we were staying called Seaside, as we had heard it was a cute place. What I did not know at the time was that Seaside is the place where they filmed The Truman Show. It was a “master-planned community,” constructed in the 80s to be the perfect beach town.

Seaside, FL

Seahaven

And yes, it really does look Like That. Not just in their tourist-agency photos, in real life it looks like that. Arguably the irl Seaside is even prettier than movie Seahaven, because the the office buildings where Truman works don’t exist; the town is 100% cutesy homes and little shops.

Keep reading

(via weaver-z)